


How to Rescue Your Boyfriend 101

by darkone



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, IN SPACE!, M/M, Rescue Missions, Space Pirates, Tampa Bay Lightning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-20 13:23:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14261901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkone/pseuds/darkone
Summary: When space pirates kidnap your boyfriend you do whatever it takes to save him...even if you have no flipping idea what you're doing.





	How to Rescue Your Boyfriend 101

**Author's Note:**

> If you would like more information about the universe ahead of time, you can read about them in the end notes!
> 
> And, as always, thanks to my amazing beta for the help ♥

Andrej boarded the _SSE Bolt_ and was immediately greeted by his captain, Steven.

“Welcome back.” 

“Good to be back,” Andrej straightened a bit. 

Andrej noticed a frown and a clenched jaw. Andrej narrowed his eyes, because it was odd for Steven. It could only mean bad news.

“Something happened while you were away on R&R, Andrej.” Steven stared at him but avoided making eye contact. 

Andrej frowned, his thoughts immediately shifting to Alex.

“What happened? Is it Alex? Is he okay?” Andrej rushed out. 

“Well, you see..” 

“Spit it out!” Andrej growled, surprising himself and probably even Steven with how he just spoke to a superior. 

“Coop got him.” 

Andrej felt the blood drain from his face. Coop was the most nefarious space pirate in the galaxy that had a penchant for capturing men and making them his slaves...or worse, personal cabin boys. 

“How the hell did this happen?!” 

“It was a routine diplomatic mission!” Steven’s voice was steady. “Everything was fine until Alex was ambushed on his way back to the ship.”

“When’s the rescue?” Andrej asked, his heart beating a million miles a minute.

“There’s not going to be a rescue, Andrej.” Steven shook his head. “Coop’s gone into the Chronos Nebula and that’s out of our jurisdiction.”

Andrej stared at Steven flabbergasted.

“Fuck jurisdiction!” Andrej blurted. “We have to get Alex back from that creep!” 

“It’s too dangerous, Sustr.” 

“That’s bullshit,” Andrej snarled. He pushed past Steven who grabbed his arm. 

“Don’t do anything stupid. We need you.” Steven warned.

Andrej, said nothing, tearing his arm away. If his own captain didn’t want to rescue Alex then Andrej would do it himself. He just needed a plan to get them both back in one piece. 

~~

Alex struggled with the chains on his wrists, but the more he struggled the tighter they seemed to become. He gave up when his skin started to burn, slumping back into his chair. He had no idea what was happening. Being jolted awake in his cell and dragged to a fancy dining room (with a long table and only two chairs?) was quite the whirlwind. 

He huffed a sigh, scratching at the decorations on the armrest. The room was well lit in comparison to the dank and dark cells. Alex didn’t know why he was brought here and truth be told he was a little afraid to find out. 

He looked up when the door opened, a number of servants filing in. They each had a silver platter that was absolutely brimming with food. Nothing made any noise as they set the table - it was quite unnerving. They finished up by preparing Alex’s plate, leaving just as quickly as they appeared. Alex stared at the plate, his mouth absolutely watering at the sight despite his reservations. He leaned forward, ready to give in and devour it when the door opened again.

Was that….? No, there was no way…shit! That _was_ Coop walking in.

“I apologize for being late. How rude of me to keep my honored guest waiting,” Coop waltzed over to the table, sitting opposite of Alex. “I hope the food is to your liking. Dig in,” A grin spread across his face.

Alex glanced between Coop and the food, suddenly worried that the food was poisoned or something. 

“It’s nothing of the sort,” Coop answered, seemingly reading Alex’s mind. 

“Why am I here?” Alex asked, trying to ignore the smell of the food in front of him.

“You are my newest recruit and I just want to get to know you better,” Coop grabbed his wine glass, sipping casually. Alex didn’t like the look in Coop’s eyes. 

“I must say, your recruitment tactics may actually fall under the definition of kidnapping,” Alex retorted. 

“Only if you split hairs.” 

Alex rolled his eyes. Coop didn’t seem bothered, only gestured once more for him to eat. Alex looked down, deciding that he couldn’t deny the rumble in his stomach any longer. Alex ate ferociously, not even caring for decorum. 

Alex blinked up in surprise at Coop, who poured a glass of wine for Alex, his grin still plastered in place. Alex hadn’t even noticed him moving, and yet he was perched right next to him. 

“Save room for dessert, my friend,” Coop leered before returning to his own chair. 

Alex managed to finish a second plate, pushing it away with a groan. His eyes met Coop’s again, noticing the man hardly touched his plate. 

“You didn’t eat much.” Alex finally remembered his manners and wiped at his mouth with a napkin.

“This dinner was more for you than me,” Coop finished off his wine. 

“You still haven’t told me why I’m here.” 

“Very curious, aren’t you?” Coop stood up and crossed back toward Alex. “So many questions.”

“Just a-AH!” Alex tried to curl in on himself when Coop grabbed him by the back of the neck roughly, but Coop squeezed, preventing him from moving. 

“I’ll just have to break you of that, now won’t I?” 

Alex swallowed, fearing what was in store for him. 

~~

Andrej cursed to himself, looking at all the weapons in the armory. He _was_ trained for combat, but looking at a wall of literally every kind of blaster he could imagine, some that he didn’t even recognize, made Andrej feel like he was getting in a little over his head. 

“Your best bet would be a Pulse Blaster,” Andrej turned around to see Slater leaning against the doorway, smirking at him. “Coop arms his guys with Gatling Zappers, mostly, but they have short range and bad aim.” 

“Since when did _you_ become such an expert on weapons?” Andrej frowned, annoyed that Slater was distracting him. 

“When your boyfriend comes from a planet of warriors, that’s when.” Slater beamed, walking over to the wall and handing the weapon he suggested to Andrej. 

He looked at the weapon in his hands, feeling awkward even just holding it.

“What are you even doing in here?” 

“Trying to help you prepare so you don’t get yourself killed.” Slater grabbed the bag Andrej had brought with him and started loading it with weapons. He paused, seemingly done before he grabbed one last overly-large gun from the wall. “I better bring the Anti-Matter Rifle or I’ll never hear the end of it.” Slater chuckled to himself.

“Wait. What are you doing?” Andrej frowned.

“Well, we’re going to get Alex, right?” Slater cocked his head.

“ _We_?” 

“Yeah. You. Me. And Braydon. Duh.”. 

“How did you even…”

“The moment Alex was kidnapped, I had a feeling you would do something stupid as soon as you got back,” Slater shrugged. “So, we’re coming with you. Someone has to stop you from getting yourself killed.”

“I..I don’t need any help!” Andrej blushed. Truthfully, he appreciated Slater’s concern, but Andrej didn’t really have much of a plan. He knew he couldn’t get Alex alone but he figured he was on his own. 

“Pfft. Even if you managed to sneak out of here there’s no way you would have made it through the asteroid belt that Coop always hides behind.” Slater chuckled, a smug look on his face. “There’s only one guy who can do that.” 

Well, Slater _was_ the best pilot in the entire Federation. Maybe Andrej should bring him along.

“I’m sure I could’ve gotten through it,” Andrej rolled his eyes, the effect ruined when Slater snorted.

“Okay, sure. You suddenly became a great pilot and get through the asteroids, what would you do when you get inside Coop’s ship? Scare them all away with analytics?” Slater laughed, throwing a photon shield at Andrej.

Oh.

“Guess that’s where the Oyterian comes in, huh?” Andrej relented with a smirk.

“You know it.” 

~~

Andrej followed Slater down the ship’s empty corridors towards the hangar. Andrej wasn’t surprised to see Braydon waiting just outside it. Andrej was the tallest member of the crew but Braydon was just _big_ and the crew’s best fighter. Braydon was half Oyterian and extremely skilled in combat. It made Braydon a perfect Tactical Officer. 

“Jake just left,” Braydon said by way of greeting. 

“Great,” Slater handed Braydon the bag of weapons. The three of them entered the hangar. Slater immediately beelined for a small stealth fighter. “She’s _perfect_!” Slater opened the hatch for them.

“Surprised you didn’t go with an assault cruiser,” Braydon looked over the small craft. 

“We need cloaking.” Slater muttered as he readied the ship. 

“Not much for weapons though,” Braydon frowned at the controls for the weaponry.

“These were built for speed, not so much fighting,” Andrej chimed in, throwing himself into one of the seats. Braydon glared at him and he shrugged.

“She’ll be fun to take through the belt,” Slater rubbed his hands together. “I’ve always wanted to pilot one of these.”

“Wait. You’ve never actually flown a stealth fighter?” Andrej jolted up. 

“I’m a _combat_ pilot, Andrej.” Slater frowned. “But I can fly _anything_.”

“You won’t be flying anywhere if we can’t get this ship out of here unnoticed,” Braydon spoke. 

“I’ll just activate the cloaking shield, no big deal,” Slater plopped himself down into the pilot’s seat.

“They’ll still know a ship’s gone when they run the end of days.” Braydon sighed.

“Ah, something that I can actually help with,” Andrej grinned, turning to leave the ship. 

He wandered to a nearby computer. Andrej overrode the program with just a few taps of the keys, making the system think that the stealth fighter was still in the hangar even. 

Andrej knew that Jake never did a physical inspection of the ships at the end of the day, even though he was supposed to. He would only check the dossier to see if all ships were accounted for and put off doing the physical inspection until the next morning. 

Andrej smiled to himself, returning to the ship, where Slater and Braydon were finishing flight prep. 

“What did you do?” Slater called from the cockpit.

“Just made the stealth fighter a little more _stealthy_ while we’re on our mission,” Andrej grinned. 

Braydon groaned at him. 

“This ain’t no mission!” Slater emerged from the cockpit wearing a cowboy hat. Andrej wondered where Slater had been hiding it. 

“That hat’s not regulation, babe,” Braydon smiled. Andrej rarely saw a soft smile from Braydon and when he did, they were always directed at Slater.

“This is an off the books renegade rescue, so I think that maybe we’re a bit beyond _regulation_ ,” Slater threw on a Southern accent, a crooked smile cracking on his lips. “‘Sides, we don’t much care for regulation in the South!”

“You’re from Canada.” Braydon laughed.

“ _South_ Canada,” Slater pointed at Braydon, sticking out his tongue. “My dream was to be a space cowboy.” He tipped his hat up. 

“Well, the space cowboy better get his ass in the seat and fly us out of here,” Braydon gently pushed Slater towards the cockpit. Slater swatted at Braydon’s hand playfully. 

Andrej sighed. He missed Alex. 

~~

“Welcome to the VIP suite!” 

Alex grunted when his back hit the floor. The man who threw him into the room smiled viciously at him. 

“Make yourself at home.” He cackled, slamming the door behind him. 

Alex sat up, rubbing his neck, annoyed when his chains rattled in his ears. 

“Jerk.” Alex muttered to himself, finally taking in his surroundings. It was much nicer than where he was previously. The room was larger and contained actual furniture, including nice beds. But it was still a cell.

“Never thought I’d have a roommate.” 

Alex whipped his head around and found himself looking up at a young man. He had a split lip and fading bruise under his left eye. “Here, I’ll get you out of those.” He pulled a key out of a pillowcase, undid his own chains, then dropped to one knee to remove Alex’s shackles. 

“I’m surprised they let you have that.” Alex rubbed his wrists, noticing the bruising along the other man’s wrists.

“They don’t know I have it. I’m Yanni.”

“Alex.” He looked over Yanni, wondered how long he’d been stuck here. “So, why are you here?”

“Same as you.” 

“I don’t know _why_ I’m here.” Alex frowned. 

“Really?” Yanni blinked. 

Alex shook his head. “The creep just stared at me for awhile and never told me anything, threatened me when I asked questions, and then I was thrown in here.” 

“Coop considers himself a collector.” Yanni frowned. “He kidnaps rare species and then puts us on display for his amusement. Or the amusement of others.” He shuddered. 

Alex wondered what kind of _amusement_ Yanni was talking about but he was afraid to ask. 

“So, why did he take you?” Alex asked.

“You know what the rarest being in the universe is, don’t you?” Yanni asked, then continued without waiting for a reply, “A full blood Suslorian.”

“Wait, are you-”

“Yes. No. I’m not full blood.” Yanni shook his head. “Coop’s dream is to have the rarest in the universe at his disposal. After Suslore became so war ravaged finding a full blood Suslorian was almost impossible...maybe Coop thought he was never going to find one and he settled for a half blood.” Yanni indicated between the two of them.

“Oh. Um.” 

“I heard there’s only one full blood Suslorian left.” Yanni continued, sounding sad. “Hope Coop never finds them.” 

“Yeah. Well, hi.” Alex waved. 

Yanni stared at him with wide eyes. 

“Shit. Really?”

“Yep.” 

“This won’t end well.” 

“What do you mean?” Alex asked, worry creeping into his voice.

“I don’t know what he has in store for you but it can’t be good,” Yanni grimaced, “and I don’t know what’s going to happen to me now either.”

Alex didn’t think that Coop would just dispose of Yanni just because he had him now. Then again, he had heard quite a few rumors about Coop and his exploits. Alex studied Yanni, noticing a bruise that was almost completely faded on Yanni’s jaw that he missed earlier.

“Why does he hit you?”

“I’m half what he desires and half what he despises,” Yanni laughed without emotion. “Coop _hates_ Earthlings.” 

“He’s more despicable than I thought.” Alex shook his head. Yanni only shrugged and patted Alex on the shoulder before retreating to his bed. 

Alex looked out the nearby window, gazing at the stars. He was in so much trouble and completely helpless to do anything. He wasn’t even angry. Okay. Maybe a little angry. Andrej wanted them to go on vacation together but those stupid Noecurians pushed the diplomatic meeting up two weeks and Alex couldn’t get out of it. And now, Alex was never going to see-- he stopped short, not daring to finish the thought. He couldn’t think like that. He just needed to...Zodthar, he really missed Andrej. 

~~

“Ugh,” Andrej covered his mouth, his stomach threatening to turn. Slater navigated the asteroid belt flawlessly but Andrej wasn’t used to the maneuvering of a small spacecraft. 

“Take a deep breath.” Braydon patted Andrej on the shoulder, looking completely unfazed. 

“We’re almost there!” Slater called from the front. 

“This isn’t nearly as turbulent as the time he got us out of the Cuhiri Belt.” Braydon reached into his jacket and pulled out a small packet. “Here.” He pressed it into Andrej’s hand.

“Hey!” Slater yelled. “I had an engine down and four enemy ships on my tail in Cuhiri!” 

“I know, babe.” Braydon hummed. 

“I don’t even want to know what that ride was like,” Andrej groaned. He turned the packet over in his fingers, tracing the outline of the two stabilizer pills inside. Just as Andrej was about to open it, Slater got out of the asteroid belt. 

“Woo, what a ride!” Slater shouted, throwing up his arms triumphantly.

“Why didn’t you give this to me earlier?!” Andrej glared at Braydon.

“They’re regulation. You should have some on you.” Braydon stood up and gathered his weapons bag. 

Andrej narrowed his eyes and huffed. “I’ve been on a small craft maybe _two_ times in my life. I didn’t think I needed them.”

“Still regulation.” Braydon quipped. 

“Guess I’ll have to take you out for joyrides more often, eh?” Slater slowed the ship down when Coop’s vessel came into view. 

“I’d rather not.” Andrej laughed nervously. He walked over towards Slater. “So, what’s next?”

“You don’t have a plan?” Slater raised an eyebrow at him.

“I honestly didn’t think I’d make it this far.” 

“Not surprising. You are incredibly ill-equipped for this.” Braydon replied absently, checking his weapon meticulously. 

Andrej scowled at Braydon again who didn’t even seem to notice while Slater stifled a laugh behind his hand.

“We could probably get in through a maintenance door. Big ship, always has repairs to do. Rarely guarded.” Slater offered.

“And then what?” Braydon loaded his gun. 

“You lead, love.”

“That’s the best plan I’ve ever heard.” Braydon smirked.

~~

Alex barely had time to sit down before the guards barged back into the cell. Unfortunately, they didn’t have any warning that they were coming, so they were found unchained. It seemed like they suspected, but couldn’t prove, Yanni’s secret key. They were definitely angry. Alex could tell by how tight the shackles were when they were manhandled back on his wrists before they were being shoved out of their cell. 

Alex looked over at Yanni. He was small and his face was just so, so _sweet_ , and the first thing he’d done was try and help Alex. And now that they were nervously standing in the dead-silence of what Alex assumed to be Coop’s chambers, he felt his Suslorian instincts kicking in. He wanted to protect Yanni, which was the worst feeling in the world. He felt powerless and knew he couldn’t _do_ anything. 

“I wonder what’s going to happen…” Yanni sighed, looking at some of the collections on the walls, ranging from weapons to paintings.

“I don’t know,” Alex answered weakly.

“It was rhetorical.”

“Still.”

“I know. Thank you.” Yanni offered him a weak smile.

They both looked over to the giant doors swinging open to reveal Coop. 

“Hello, my boys.” Coop greeted cheerfully. “I’m sorry I didn’t have any food prepared for us.” Neither Alex or Yanni responded, which displeased Coop. He yanked Yanni towards him.“I expect to be greeted.” Coop growled, pulling Yanni so close that spittle landed on his face.

“I-I’m sorry,” Yanni stuttered.

“You will be after I throw your worthless ass to the area of the ship that you belong in.” He cocked his head with a grin. “Yes, I think you could do with mucking out some Pluepu stalls”. Coop pushed Yanni away with an evil laugh. “You do seem like you’d be particularly good at cleaning up shit piles taller than yourself.”

“Why don’t you just leave him alone?!” Alex yelled, louder than he intended. He flinched when Coop reached for him but was surprised when Coop gently cradled his jaw. 

“A nice sentiment, my boy.” Coop laughed. “A half blood Suslorian is okay enough on his own, but even worse, one that’s half _Earthling_? No, someone like that shouldn’t be roaming the universe.” 

“You got what you wanted.” Alex said through gritted teeth. 

“And I always will.” 

Alex took a steadying breath. He knew that he was taking the wrong approach with Coop. He was a diplomat, for Zodthar’s sake! He could talk his way around this asshole without even trying.

“Which is why I’m surprised you don’t want him anymore,” Alex said softly.

Coop raised an eyebrow, “Explain.”

“Think about it. Most Suslorians when they left went to nearby planets. Earth is not anywhere near Suslore.” 

“What does that mean?” Coop commanded.

“Most of the mixed Suslorians are from those nearby planets. Yanni is half Earthling and despite your displeasure with them in particular, he _is_ quite rare.”

“Earthlings are just cockroaches. There’s too many of them infesting the universe.” Coop frowned. 

“That may be true, but how many of them are Suslorian? Yanni may be the only one. To get rid of something so rare, especially for a collector such as yourself, would be absurd.” Alex smiled, hoping he was convincing enough to sway Coop.

Coop pulled away from Alex and walked over towards Yanni. Alex held his breath, hoping he wouldn’t harm Yanni. He breathed a sigh of relief when Coop’s hand gently rubbed the red spot on Yanni’s jaw. 

“While I _detest_ a part of you. You are still rare and that does make you worth something.” Coop smirked. “I’ll find use for you, yet.” He patted Yanni on the cheek and left the room, muttering about dinner.

Yanni visibly relaxed once Coop was out of the room.

“I don’t know where you were able to come up with that bullshit but thanks.” Yanni sighed in relief.

Alex chuckled. “All part of the Suslorian charm.” 

“Is that what you call it?” Yanni smirked. Alex only shrugged and laughed. 

~~

Andrej hurried behind Slater and Braydon, who were doing most of the work, which was no surprise to him. Andrej’s only use of his weapon so far was limited to knocking a guy out if he tried to get back up. 

“Where are we heading?” Andrej whispered in Slater’s direction. 

“To Coop’s quarters.” Braydon answered for him.

“How do you even know we’re going the right direction?” Andrej frowned. “And shouldn’t we be heading down to the prisoner’s quarters instead?”

“No.” Braydon looked around a nearby corner. “Coop wouldn’t keep Alex in the prisoner’s quarters.”

“Why not?”

“He’s too valuable to put down there. He’d be one of Coop’s prized possessions.” Braydon signaled for them to continue.

“And how do you know this?” Andrej raised an eyebrow.

“Intel.” Braydon responded, dropping his voice. He held his hand up for them to stop. Braydon turned to them and held up three fingers. Slater and Andrej nodded in response. Braydon winked at Slater and ducked into a nearby room. Muffled sounds came from the room and Braydon emerged a moment later. 

“That was quick.” Slater grinned at Braydon. Andrej raised an eyebrow at the tone of Slater’s voice, deeper than normal, huskier. 

“Coop clearly doesn’t spend much time teaching them fighting skills.” Braydon smirked, taking the lead again. 

Andrej looked in the room Braydon came from, grimacing at the three men knocked out on the floor. 

“We should be there soon.” Slater looked back at Andrej. “You look so nervous, pal.”

“Is it that obvious?” 

“I’m sure Alex is fine.” Slater absently patted Andrej on the back. 

Andrej looked up when he noticed Braydon signaling to them again. Andrej took the elaborate signals to mean that they’d made it to Coop’s quarters. 

“Not sure what to expect on the other side but be ready, okay?” Braydon whispered. 

Andrej nodded, his pulse pounded in his ears while his hands shook uncontrollably. He tightened the grip on his weapon in an attempt to steady them. 

Braydon kicked open the door and stormed in, Slater and Andrej followed after him with their weapons raised.

“Andrej?!” Andrej’s head snapped in the direction of Alex’s voice.

“Alex!” 

They ran towards each other, Andrej hugged Alex tightly against himself. 

“Are you okay?” Andrej held Alex by the shoulders and examined him. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Alex buried his face in Andrej’s neck. He tried to wrap his arms around Andrej, failing when his chains kept his movements contained. 

“That sick bastard has you chained up,” Andrej growled. “He better not have laid a hand on you so help me.”

“Shh, shhh,” Alex ran a soothing hand down Andrej’s arm. Andrej huffed in anger but it quickly fizzled at Alex’s actions. 

“So, uh, who’s this?” 

They both looked over at Slater who was pointing to the other person in the room.

“This is Yanni,” Alex answered.

“He has injuries,” Braydon looked him over. “I can patch you up.”

“O-oh,” Yanni looked up at Braydon with wide eyes. “It’s okay. I’m fine.” 

“If you say so,” Braydon pointed to Yanni’s chains. “May I?”

Yanni looked to Alex who nodded. Braydon grabbed Yanni’s chains, breaking them easily.

“W-what the?! How did you…” 

“He’s half Oyterian.” Alex replied. He left Andrej’s embrace, holding his arms out so Braydon could break his chains too. 

“You have some interesting friends,” Yanni looked between the three of them. 

“I think we should save all the introductions and what not for later. We need to get out of here. Fast.” Slater looked to the door. 

“Right, before Coop gets back,” Braydon nodded. “Follow me.” 

The five of them hurried back into the corridors, past the fallens guards and towards their ship. They stopped in their tracks when they rounded the last corner only to come face to face with Coop, armed and ready for them.

“Did you think it would be that easy?” 

Coop grinned and cocked his weapon menacingly.

“It’s five against one, Coop. You’re outnumbered, asshole!” Slater yelled even as Braydon pulled him back behind him. 

“The only real challenge is the Oyterian,” Coop indicated vaguely in Braydon’s direction with his blaster.

“You aren’t one for me.” Braydon cracked his knuckles.

“I wouldn’t if I were you,” Coop chuckled. “This weapon was built to take down Oyterians.”

“Well, make sure you hit the Oyterian part of me then.” 

“What?!” Coop’s eye widened, lowering his weapon. “You’re a _half_ breed? Are you… _half human_?!” 

“What the fuck?” Slater whispered. 

“Why are all these half breeds running around?!” Coop threw his free hand into the air. “Why would a proud Oyterian demean themselves so low?!”

“Watch your tongue.” Braydon said through gritted teeth. 

“You know, I had every intention of letting you go if you handed Alex over to me.” Coop raised his weapon again. “But after finding out there’s a _half breed_ among you...I changed my mind.” 

“You’re a dick!” Andrej spat. “I wouldn’t hand my boyfriend back over to you for _anything_!” 

“Boyfriend?!” Coop was taken aback. “You’re with _him_?! He’s an Earthling! How can a perfect species demean himself with the likes of an _Earthling_?!” 

Coop powered his weapon to maximum and aimed at the group. 

Braydon jumped to the front, tucking the group behind himself.

Coop pulled the trigger, and...nothing happened. “What the fuck?” he muttered, turning the weapon to study it. And that was when the blaster blew up in his face, knocking him so hard into the ship wall it left a dent that he slid out of, crumpling to the floor. 

“Holy shit.” Alex gaped. “Is...is he dead?”

“I don’t know! Probably, yes! Who cares? Let’s go!” Slater rushed towards their ship so he could power it up. 

“Go!” Braydon ordered the rest of them. 

Andrej ushered Alex and Yanni into the stealth fighter, getting them situated into their seats. 

“All clear, Slater!” Braydon called when he bounded inside. 

“Alright, let’s hope no one gives chase!” Slater steered the ship out and away, heading back into the asteroid belt. “At least I can use these stupid rocks for cover this time!” 

“You need to go faster, Slater!” Andrej entered the cockpit.

“What? Why?” Slater checked his radars. “There’s nothing out here but us. And it’s dangerous in the asteroid field.”

“We’ll never get back in time before the morning inspection at the speed you’re going.”

“Yes, we will, Andrej,” Slater waved his hand dismissively at him. “I got this. Now, shoo.” 

Andrej huffed and returned to Alex’s side. He grabbed Alex’s hand and threaded their fingers together. 

“You know I didn’t expect them to send you on a rescue mission,” Alex chuckled. 

“They, uh, they didn’t.”

“What?”

“Covert mission.” Braydon grunted from his corner of the ship. 

“Oh.” Alex looked up at Andrej. “That’s dangerous.”

“I’d do anything for you,” Andrej locked eyes with him. 

Alex smiled and leaned for a kiss. 

“My hero,” He gushed.

“Oh, gosh,” Andrej blushed and buried his face in Alex’s neck, pressing a couple of kisses to the skin there before he was rudely interrupted by Braydon clearing his throat.

“What’s the plan with him?” Braydon pointed to Yanni sitting across from them, who offered a smile and a wave. 

“Um. Maybe I can override the system and add him as a crewmember…” Andrej trailed off, pondering.

“Do you have any special skills?” Braydon asked Yanni.

Yanni stared wide eyed at Braydon. His mouth opened and closed a few times, clearly at a loss for words.

“Just make him a diplomat like me,” Alex spoke up. “He’s Suslorian. He can smooth talk.”

“You mean bullshit?” Yanni grinned, making Alex laugh. 

Andrej raised an eyebrow, he didn’t realize that Yanni was Suslorian too. It made sense though, Yanni was very cute and carried himself with same kind of confidence Alex had. He looked between them, watching them lean closer together talking intently about their culture, but he stopped listening and looked out the nearby window.

Andrej didn’t really say anything for the rest of their trip back to the _SSE Bolt_. His mind was clouded with thoughts of Alex possibly preferring Yanni because he was Suslorian. 

There wasn’t anything special about Andrej. He was tall and could read computers pretty well but there wasn’t something that made him extraordinary. Andrej never really thought about how he paled in comparison to Alex. Suslorians were considered to be _perfect_. So, why was Alex with _him_? An Earthling. And not even a smart Earthling like Slater. No, just a run of the mill one. 

He shook his head in an effort to clear it, Coop’s words continuing to echo in his head. 

~

“Shit. I knew we wouldn’t make it back in time!” Andrej groaned, looking at his watch.

“Look. It’s Jake. He probably started late anyway,” Slater rolled his eyes. “We’ll be fine.”

Slater pulled the stealth fighter into the hangar. Andrej hopped up from his seat when he heard Slater cursing from the cockpit. He looked over Slater’s shoulder and saw Jake tapping his foot at them from the landing area. 

“Don’t say it.” Slater glared at Andrej.

Andrej, in fact, did _not_ say anything and he hoped the pointed look he returned was enough. 

Slater powered down the ship once he parked but didn’t move from his seat. 

“Come on, babe,” Braydon urged him. “Time to face the music.”

“I’m just running through my spiel,” Slater made a little motion over his head.

“Should we really be relying on _you_ to talk us out of this?” Alex smirked. 

“What if I’m trying to add diplomat to my resume?” Slater threw his hands in the air. “You don’t know!” 

He pushed past the group to open the door. Slater was barely two steps down the platform before Jake started yelling.

“What the fuck, Slater?!” Jake stomped up to him. “You can’t just steal a stealth fighter for a joy ride! It’s not only your ass on the line but _mine_ too!”

“I brought her back in one piece, Jake. We’re what, five minutes late?”

“That’s not the point!” Jake threw his head back and groaned. “There’s a goddamn asteroid dent in the hull, too!”

“What?!” Slater stepped out to see where Jake was looking. “That’s not a dent, that’s just the light hitting the paint weird!”

“It’s a fucking _dent_.” Jake frowned.

Andrej poked his head out to get a better view of where they were staring. It was totally a dent.

“And not only did you steal the ship, you _damaged_ her too! They’ll dock both of our pay for this! I swear Slater, if-who’s that?” Jake gasped. 

Andrej looked away from Jake’s awestruck face, following his line of sight.

“This is Yanni,” Slater pulled him forward towards Jake. Andrej noticed Slater was smirking.

“Uh, hi,” Jake swallowed hard.

“Hi,” Yanni smiled and Jake’s eyes widened.

“As you can see, Yanni has some injuries. Would you mind taking him to the med bay?” Slater put a hand on both of their backs and pushed them towards the ship’s main corridor. 

Jake escorted Yanni away without another word. Andrej supposed Jake completely forgot about his previous grievances.

“My plan worked flawlessly!” Slater wiped imaginary dust off his shoulder.

“Executed perfectly, babe,” Braydon threw an arm around Slater. 

“Ah, yes, the plan of using Yanni to seduce Jake went off without a hitch,” Alex rolled his eyes but he was grinning. 

“It was my plan all along, duh,” Slater beamed. 

“Sure, Slater.” Andrej shook his head and wandered over to a nearby computer. He added the stealth fighter back into the morning log and placed Yanni on the crew list. “Yanni’s a security agent for now, because it was the only job open.”

“That’s easy enough to fake it for awhile.” Slater nodded. 

“Let’s get the weapons back to the armory,” Braydon once again lifted the large bag over his shoulder like it was nothing. 

“How are we going to explain that Alex is back?” Andrej asked as they made their way to the ship’s corridor. 

No one answered him right away which made Andrej a little antsy. He was just about to ask them again when they all stopped and came face to face with Steven.

“Captain!” they all shouted as they jumped to attention and saluted. 

“At ease.” 

“Uh, sir, we were just-”

“No need to explain, Andrej.” Steven smiled. “I see Alex has returned to us. Quite a daring adventure. Escaping Coop’s clutches, stealing one of his ships, and managing to get a distress signal out to you. Gutsy.”

“Um.” Andrej and Alex looked to each other.

“A little foolish, of course.” Steven stepped over to the window. “It could have been a trap. Luckily, it wasn’t and Alex is safe and sound once again.” 

Andrej wondered what the hell Steven was talking about, but he was afraid to ask. 

“Braydon.”

“Yes, sir?” 

“Is that story believable enough?” 

“Sounds plausible, sir,” Braydon responded. 

“Good, I’ve been working on it all night.” Steven turned around and smiled.

“Wait. So, you knew about this the whole time?” Andrej blinked. 

“I knew you were going to go after Alex.” Steven stated. “So, I made sure you were going to succeed by sending my best tactical officer and pilot with you.” 

“Yeah, but you said--”

“Well, I can’t actually approve anything out loud. HQ would be all over my ass for that sort of thing.”

“I will finish the report tonight, sir.” Braydon nodded. 

“It’s off the books, no report.” Steven smiled at them. “You two look like you could use some rest, though. Dismissed.” 

“Yes, sir.” Braydon and Slater saluted one last time and left.

Andrej heard Slater tell Braydon on the way out he needed some snuggle time to wind down after being all worked up from the mission. He wondered about their dynamic sometimes but there was a more pressing matter at hand. 

“So, I’m not in trouble for this?” Andrej raised an eyebrow.

Steven laughed.

“Oh, you’re in trouble. You’re confined to your quarters for the week.”

“That’s fair, sir.” 

“And to give Alex time to recuperate from his ordeal, he’ll have the week off too.” 

Andrej smiled, his punishment wasn’t looking so bad.

“Thank you, sir.” 

“Guess you two won’t be going on R&R separately anymore, hmm?” 

“Absolutely not, Captain.” Alex shook his head and laughed. 

“Dismissed.” 

They saluted him. Alex grabbed Andrej by the hand and lead him away.

“And we’ll talk about Yanni later,” Steven called over his shoulder to them. 

“Shit. How does he know so much?” Andrej muttered, not that Steven was close enough to hear them anymore. 

“He’s the captain. It’s his job to know,” Alex answered, leaving it at that. He pulled Andrej into the elevator and pressed the button to take them to the floor with their quarters. 

Andrej settled on the edge of the bed when they entered their room. Alex immediately sat next to him and laid his head on Andrej’s shoulder. 

“Thank you for saving me,” he said softly.

“You’re welcome,” Andrej buried his nose in Alex’s hair. He closed his eyes, his thoughts from earlier suddenly intruding again now that everything was quiet. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Alex sat up, jostling Andrej from his position. 

“Why are you with me?” 

“What?” Alex cocked his head. 

“Why are you with me?” Andrej repeated. “You’re Suslorian. You’re the very definition of _perfect_. I’m just an Earthling, there’s billions like me.”

“There’s no one like you,” Alex reached for him, placing a gentle hand on his arm. “ _You_ are perfect.” 

“Please,” Andrej shook his head. “You’d be better off with someone like Yanni. Suslorian, like you.” 

“Actually, he’s half Earthling, but that’s besides the point,” Alex ran a couple fingers down Andrej’s cheek. “He’s not _you_ , who flew across half the star systems to save me.”

“That’s because I love you.”

“And I love you too.” Alex kissed Andrej softly. “I loved you before, I love you now, and I’ll love you tomorrow and the next day...until the end of time.” 

“I just…” Andrej leaned in to nuzzle him but pulled away. He sat there, staring into Alex’s intense, brown eyes while he wondered how someone like Alex had fallen in love with an awkward, gangly, skinny guy like him. “You could just do so much better.”

Alex shook his head, “You’re everything I need and more.” He cupped Andrej’s face and kissed him deeply, but short. “Do you remember when we first met?” 

“Yeah, of course. In the mess hall, back when you were new to the fleet.”

“I remember looking out at all the tables and almost dropping my tray when I saw you.”

Andrej snorted. “Come on, you did not!”

“Did so,” Alex kissed him again. “I was awestruck by your eyes and the way your cheekbones curved along your face.” Alex trailed a finger across the swell of one and down along Andrej’s jawline. 

Alex nudged Andrej down onto the bed. Andrej complied, a sigh leaving him when his head hit the pillow. 

“I thought you were _so_ handsome and wondered why you were asking to eat lunch with me.”

“We hit it off pretty well, I think.” Alex smirked, straddling Andrej’s hips. Andrej’s hands lazily roamed over the tops of Alex’s thighs. 

“You were easy to talk to,” Andrej smiled at the memory. They had been so consumed with one another that neither noticed the mess hall had cleared out until their superior showed up to write them both up for not reporting to their briefings. “We both got in trouble.”

“Yeah, I made a real _great_ impression on my first day,” He leaned over and pressed soft kisses to Andrej’s jaw. “It was worth it though.”

“All of it?”

“Yeah, of course,” Alex muttered into his neck.

“Even that time Jake caught us in the supply closet?” 

“Oh, especially that! He couldn’t look us in the eye for a month!” Alex threw his head back and laughed. 

Andrej’s eyes wandered up Alex’s body before settling on his offered neck. He leaned up to suck at the skin.

“Feeling better?” Alex hissed when Andrej sunk his teeth in. Andrej loved the feeling of Alex’s pulse fluttering against his tongue. 

Andrej groaned as he continued his work. 

“Good,” Alex hummed, burying a free hand in Andrej’s hair. “Right there. Yeah. Mark me.” 

Andrej wrapped his arms around Alex, bringing their bodies together before shifting their weight so Alex was underneath him. His hands traveled under Alex’s shirt, fingers brushing over his nipples.

“You know, m-my plan,” Alex’s voice hitched when Andrej’s hips began to move, “w-was to take care of _you_.” 

“You are,” Andrej replied, running his tongue along Alex’s collarbone. Andrej pulled back and admired the trail of red marks down Alex’s neck that matched the flush on his cheeks. He slipped out his shirt before removing Alex’s throwing them both over the side of the bed. 

Alex ran his hands down Andrej’s stomach, scraping his nails against the skin, leaving little red lines in their wake. 

“Returning the favor?” Andrej grabbed Alex’s hands, threading their fingers together. 

“Yeah,” Alex rolled his bottom lip between his teeth. “I like to leave lovemarks on you.” 

“So I’ve learned over the years,” Andrej pushed Alex’s hands into the pillow. “Know how many times I had to hide my neck from superiors?”

“Probably as much as I did,” Alex tried to lean into Andrej’s lips but Andrej kept himself _just_ out of reach. Alex whined, pushing against him but Andrej didn’t give way. “Come _ooon_.” 

“I’m not done with the lovemarks,” Andrej bent down to sink his teeth into Alex’s collarbone. He worked his tongue over the bite to soothe it before trailing downwards. He kissed a line down Alex’s chest, making sure to tease each of his nipples with his teeth and tongue.

“ _F-fuck_ ,” Alex squeezed Andrej’s hands that were still holding him down. 

“Easy,” Andrej whispered while Alex writhed underneath him. “Don’t get riled up too fast now.”

Andrej listened to Alex’s heavy breathing as he continued his descent down the lines of Alex’s body. He smiled against his skin when he reached Alex’s ticklish spots right around his belly button. 

“Stop it, stop it!,” Alex laughed, wrapping his legs around Andrej’s body.

“Would you rather me do something else?” Andrej kissed along Alex’s’ pelvic bone.

“Yes,” Alex pushed against Andrej again, this time Andrej relented and released Alex’s hands. He rolled over to the nightstand and pulled out a small bottle from the drawer, tossing it at Andrej. 

“Pants off.” Andrej smiled at how eager Alex looked taking off the rest of his clothes. 

“I think you’re still wearing too much,” Alex tugged at Andrej’s belt loops. 

“How rude of me. Care to help?” 

Alex brightened, helping Andrej out of his pants and boxers while his lips peppered Andrej’s chest with kisses and soft bites. 

Andrej pecked him on the forehead. Alex looked up and nuzzled their noses together before their lips met in a passionate kiss, tumbling back down into the sheets again, hands roaming over the newly exposed skin.

“I-I need you,” Alex bucked his hips. “Please.” 

Andrej pulled back, flipping the cap open on the small bottle. He enjoyed seeing the look of desire on Alex’s face as he watched Andrej rub the lube between his fingers. 

“And I need you.” Andrej whispered, wrapping his hand around Alex’s erection making sure to coat it in lube.

Andrej stroked Alex slowly. He knew he was teasing Alex but Andrej always loved the way Alex’s body reacted to his hands, writhing and almost _aching_ underneath him for more. 

“Andrej, _please_.”

“I need your able hands now,” Andrej purred, straddling himself just over Alex’s dick. He brought Alex’s hand up and spread the lube on his fingers. Alex slid his hand around gently inserting a finger inside him. 

Andrej stifled a moan when Alex added another finger almost immediately but was quickly distracted by Alex biting down on his shoulder. 

“Ah, _fuck_ ,” Andrej beared down, gripping the headboard while rocking himself on Alex’s fingers. 

“You are so hot like this, shit,” Alex looked up at him, his eyes half lidded and mouth almost begging for Andrej’s lips to touch them. Alex removed his fingers, grabbing Andrej’s hips and guiding him down onto himself. Andrej had never been so glad they didn’t use condoms anymore, because he really needed to feel… _everything_.

Andrej paused after he was fully seated, taking a moment to just kiss Alex slowly until he _needed_ to move. Andrej moaned when he started to move over Alex, enjoying the way Alex’s fingers would dig into his skin while guiding him along. 

“I love you so much,” Alex gasped out.

“I love you too.” 

Andrej continued his pace, thankful for the steady hands on his hips because he was quickly losing himself. He braced himself against the bed adjusting just enough so Alex was hitting that sweet spot inside him.

“Fuck. _Yes_.” Andrej heaved, pressing their sweaty foreheads together. His arms were starting to shake and he didn’t know how much longer he was going to be able to hold on. 

“I got you,” Alex gripped Andrej tighter, sounding just as wrecked as he looked. “I got you, just come undone for me.” 

“A-Alex,” Andrej moaned out as he shook apart from pleasure. 

Alex wrapped a hand around him to work him through his orgasm continuing his erratic movements until Alex was chanting Andrej’s name while he came. 

Andrej tried to collapse onto the bed, but Alex pulled him close, holding him still while absentmindedly tracing little patterns on his back. Andrej enjoyed the sensation, moving only enough so they could meet at the lips. 

When their kiss broke, Alex’s fingers were on the move again, tracing the fresh lovemarks.

“Admiring your work?” 

“Always,” Alex smiled, kissing a few of the spots softly. “I’ll make a Suslorian out of you yet.” 

Andrej had been surprised when Alex first explained the marking thing to him, but quickly found out that he loved it and enjoyed reciprocating on Alex, especially when they both got carried away with it. 

“I think I owe you a few more then.” Andrej rolled off of Alex and onto the bed. 

“Well, we do have the whole week off…” Alex trailed off with a yawn, curling into Andrej.

“Worst punishment ever!” 

They laughed together, easily melting into each other again, sharing soft nuzzles and kisses which slowed as their adrenaline left them and they drifted off to sleep. Andrej’s last thought before he fell asleep was how happy he was to have Alex back safe and sound…

And how they were _never_ taking time off separately ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate Title: An Idiot's Guide to Rescuing Your Boyfriend from Space Pirates
> 
> Universe Notes:  
> Planet: Oytera  
> Oyterians are warriors that are skilled in combat with super strength.
> 
> Planet: Suslore  
> Suslorians are considered to be very beautiful and charming which makes them born diplomats.
> 
> Zodthar is the Suslorian god of strength.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [How To Meet-Cute Your Boyfriend 101](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15863742) by [verbaeghe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/verbaeghe/pseuds/verbaeghe)
  * [How to Rescue Your Boyfriend 101 - The Pirate Remix](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16149530) by [TylerAndAlexAndCeddyOhMy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TylerAndAlexAndCeddyOhMy/pseuds/TylerAndAlexAndCeddyOhMy)




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